Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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