I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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