I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
