Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
