Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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