At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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