Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
