I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
