I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Never let your siblings swipe right.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize