does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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