hotel room ftw
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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