That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
