we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
