Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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