I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
