That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I believe in your delicious
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
