she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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