Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
