i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
