As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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