I can tuck mytits in my pants
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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