my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Randomize
