sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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