In the future we'll all be gay
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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