went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
