but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
