is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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