Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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