How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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