I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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