I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
