who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
