no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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