I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
