real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
