they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize