I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
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I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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