you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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