Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have demons in me.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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