My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
this beer tastes like vomit already
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
