John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
