My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
