Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
