i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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