dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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