Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
