rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
