Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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