Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You can't just leave with hair like that
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
