I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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