K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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