His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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