Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
