There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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