wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm passing your future prison.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
