sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
