K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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