So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
