jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
They are going to name an STD after you.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
