How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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