She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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