her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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