i think my mom watched the whole time
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
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