In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Houston, we have a squirter
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
