we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
