i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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