why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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