So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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