just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
