Having a random hookup so left but love u
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think I am morally bankrupt
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
