I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize